is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
