Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
