Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
