Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize