Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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