So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
