easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
