I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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