Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
