Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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