Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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