i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
