I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
