She announced her abortion via fbk
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
