He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
