I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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