Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
