margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
