So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
