Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
