awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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