I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
