Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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