With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
