You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
