Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
