she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
