I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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