Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
