I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
