where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
