I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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