I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
