Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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