I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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