FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
