Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
