The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
