Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
