carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
