i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
