You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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