Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize