I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
