ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
