Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
