Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize