I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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