well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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