ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize