I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
