There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
