The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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