Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
