operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
