apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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