hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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