if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
