That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
