Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
