Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
