I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
